history

hey all,

hope everyone is enjoying “Renegade” and into everything we released today. hard to believe we wrote those songs so long ago and are just now getting them out there. i was ready to post them the week they were all laid down at the studio. so much has happened, changed, been good and bad, over the last year or two… and this is a nice big exhale. the calm after the storm, which sometimes is pretty hard to come by.
now that we are seeing these songs off for you to take care of and keep as your own, we are now beginning a whole new journey. the writing process is always a weird time for me… i doubt myself, listen to past records a lot to reassure myself, i isolate myself to make sure i’m staying focused… like i said, it can be pretty strange. however, this time i’m gonna try and break that mold i made for myself. jeremy, taylor, and i owe it to ourselves to really take us to a new place and just enjoy the whole thing without any stresses or awkward tensions. you guys know as well as we do, that it’s been a while since we’ve made a record that was just plain fun to make without any hangups.

so here goes. we’ve got some songs underway but it’s still the beginning.

on another completely different note, i really hope that the community can be a positive place. i am a person who has strong opinions… i don’t always voice them because i really don’t think it’s my place as an artist to be one of the loud mouths…. but what i’m trying to say is that, i understand people having opinions and wanting to voice them. there’s nothing wrong with not agreeing with everyone. what bugs me is that this place, this community, is a place for fans/family of our band to stop by and leave feeling better, not worse. no.. of course i don’t think the world is all roses and daises… but come on, you can get your fill of negativity just about anywhere else. so please, feel free to say you don’t like a song or you just aren’t into the way my voice sounds on this or that… but i am asking you to do it with purpose and not just because you don’t have anything else better to say. it’s really disheartening to see people here use our original online community as a sounding board for spiteful, bitterness.

anyway, i’m not your mom….

time to go write….

hayley

i’m pregnant again… SIKE

ughhh. second hand embarrassment for the whole twitter world and coming back here today to be with people who understand… *sniff sniff*

anyways, what’s up everybody? good news! i’m feeling a heck of a lot better today than i have in a good while. still a little weary but i’ll take that. been staying at my moms pretty much all week. i haven’t done this since i was 18! needless to say, i’ve been a huge baby and totally taken advantage of the whole thing. and now, there’s only a couple days before we’re back out there with you guys. honestly, that’s all the cure i need! gonna fix me right up. whew, can’t wait!

well, this post isn’t really to catch you up on much. of course, i missed the entire 4 days of practice so i can’t say much about that other than i know the guys were stoked at how everything sounded. even though i wasn’t there to top it off with my siqq voxxx. jokes… they don’t need me anyhow… they always sound too good!

i just wanna know what you guys are up to, what you’re into. new season of true blood? toddlers and tiaras? (vomit) what do you guys think about the new Taking Back Sunday record? just fill me in! What’s the 411? Tell me everything! What’s the hot gossip? What’s the hot jams?

- momma h

i took twitter off my phone the other day and it felt like killing a giant angry spider that was in my garage blocking me from getting into my car… which was amazing cause the real life spider that was actually in my garage was really extremely frightening.. and not killing it in real life was like a total failure. run on sentence, i know. my point is, it felt good to take it off my phone. liberation! besides not everything i do is even all that interesting.

so with all the extra time, i’ve really just been hanging out with my family, watching the casey anthony trial, trying to find vegetarian and/or vegan food in franklin, sitting on my butt… OH! and we made a music video ( <<- i think that's tweet worthy )

we flew to LA on sunday and shot the whole thing yesterday. from the buttcrack of dawn until we nearly died. didn't mind it! we had a blast. of course, we left with battle scars. i can't do anything without getting my stupid knees bruised. at the end of every tour i have like 50 bruises on my legs! i don't understand. anyways, it was so so awesome working with shane again... a very different experience from any of the other videos we've done with him. i won't go into all the reasons why in case it would give anything away. i'm just really excited to see it all finished.

my head is killlling me. i guess i need sleep? or maybe a popsicle.

rehearsals start this weekend... that much closer to getting out there and seeing you guys. ughhhh can't make time move fast enough!
ok, goodnight!

-h

Whoa woah woe..

it’s sort of unbelievable how much can happen between these LJ posts…
i don’t say that in a negative way really. i’m just only starting to realize the time that’s passed now that i sit down to write you guys.

with all the off time and the sitting around at home i’ve really just felt afraid to be still. it’s hard to go from moving at a million miles a minute to stomping on the brakes. and now — THANK GOD — we’re getting ready to get a little busier. you might’ve heard but there will be a new song on the way pretty soon and that means, we’ll have some work to do! not to mention, rehearsals for summer shows will be here before i know it. i mean, i really have to keep reminding myself… it’s only a few months off! it should be a good thing right? balls!

i’ve been in LA for quite some time now.. while i’ve been out here, i’ve seen some great shows (A Day To Remember, The Swellers, Zach Galifianakis — ugh i can’t spell that! — Best Coast, Jon Brion, The Watkins Family Hour, and I think more but I can’t remember right now), went on a date at LACMA to see the history of fashion exhibit, and i haven’t eaten meat in months! who knows how long that will last though…. I mean, I can’t really complain. it’s been a lot of fun. you know what i think my problem is though? i think i have growing pains.

i always come back to this… to growing and changing and how it feels when the whole world already “knows” exactly who you are. they know your next step before you take it. they know your every reason for every thing. and hey, this is the life i wanted! honestly, i love the workload (how i miss it right now), the company (you guys), all the different places, and most of all the freedom to create. all i can say is, with all that’s on it’s way to us right now… and i really believe in it… i guess i feel like a different version of me is ready going to be taking it on. i mean, damn, i’ve had enough time right? and yes, i said it before, but i think the guys are there too. i don’t think i’m alone when i talk about how some screw has been tightening… or loosening.. in my head. maybe even some of you are there too? there is never a bad time to start over, in my opinion.

with all that being said.. i’m SO ready for new music to get out there. we’ve been talking about it since february. you’ve sort of heard one of the songs but i’m ready to hear what you think about more of them. i’m ready to see you guys face to face at shows. ready to care about what i look like a little (you know, quit looking like a scrub just cause i know i’m off)… which i guess means i can let myself go shopping.. yes? thank you.

anyways, what was the point of all of this? did you get it? i’m so excited for summer. let’s talk more soon. sooner than it took us to talk last time.

love you guys a lot,
hayley

posted this just now on my tumblr:

“Went to the Jeremy Scott x adidas party last night. I’d like to quickly point out (then avert your eyes elsewhere) the fact that I have NEVER been to Coachella yet, as of last night, I’ve been to one of the after-parties. This is so backwards. I should be ashamed.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that I met some really cool people last night. People who were all so different from each other. People who were excited to get out and let go. It was nice to just be surrounded by complete strangers for the night. Sometimes, I think it’s good to do something out of your typical routine. I don’t usually leave the house at 10pm to drive 2 hours and stay out til 4am. Maybe I just like my bed too much? What I’m trying to say is… there are a million-bajillion people on this planet (that’s just an estimation) and we’ll never ALL know each other well. Most of us won’t meet at all. But when we step outside our inner circle and start leaving footprints in other places we have a lot more chances to make impact, to learn something brand new, to find out who we really are by seeing a part of us in a total stranger.

Don’t judge. Don’t stay inside all the time. Get out and let somebody know who you are.”

but i wanted to go just the tiniest bit further here with you guys…
my experience last night has so much to do with the song “Careful”. there is a big world out there and it’s made up of a ton of human beings living and breathing their way through every day. most of us, lost and confused and weird. but who cares? we have very little time to be judging and pointing and “protecting” ourselves just because we are afraid of people or experiences that are unfamiliar. the last thing i’m trying to say is that we should cut loose and run rampid in the streets in the name of “looove”. what i’m saying is, the person that i’m standing behind in line at starbucks has a story just like i’m do… and given the right moment, i could probably learn a thing or two from them. it’s easy to stay inside, shut your door, and say you’re fine with the life you have.. but try something different every once in a while just so you can say you took the risk of making someone feel loved.

edit; OH! i forgot to sign off – how rude

love you guys a lot,
hayley

Hey everybody
today, let’s dive into the discussion of sexuality! yeah yeah, i wanna talk about the cosmo cover. it’s a little more than a big deal to me. and you know what? i’m really excited about it. to the general public, cosmo magazine is either a) a woman’s obsession or b) a woman’s demise — honestly, either of the two options equal out to be the same damn thing! the media clearly has our attention. it’s easy to let all the images of all these godlike looking women whisper to us how we think we’re supposed to look. it’s like “here look at my BOOBS! don’t you wish you had these?” “more guys will like you if you do it THIS WAY!” “get this figure” blah blah blah spend all your time, energy, and money on becoming the world’s idea of ”sexy”… and you know what? it’s never gonna change. as much as i tell myself i don’t care and i wear whatever i want… there will always be those moments when i’m at the check out line at target and i see some gorgeous person on the cover of any ol rag… and i’m like “ugh, is that how it’s gotta be!?” only to realize that… next month, that girl on the cover is gonna be me.

WHAT A HYPOCRITE RIGHT?!?!

noooo. here’s the thing. my #1 goal when the band began was to make myself invisible. not only did i not want to be the focal point, i wanted to be UNSEEN! and honestly, it never made a difference. i’ve turned down a lot of magazine covers. i specifically remember turning down Blender mag when i turned 19. and you know what? no one ever knew. it never made people focus on me any less. and it never mattered. so this time i’m taking a different approach. all 3 of us in Paramore have our own roles. and finally i will accept mine. i’m going to be okay with being a “powerful female”. and if that’s what it is… i’m going to use that role to make a difference.

here’s the plan. here’s my course of action. i WILL be myself. i WILL grow up. and i most definitely WILL find the time in my own life to be SEXY if i feel like it. who wrote the rules? who said that a girl that lives in this same tshirt and jeans nearly every day won’t wanna wear pumps and a short skirt tomorrow? the heart that’s underneath the clothes is still the same. because to me, it’s not about using sex as a weapon. it’s about how i feel. somedays i straight up feel like wearing sweats. other days, more confident days.. i’m like… DUDE WHO NEEDS CLOTHES!? ok well, i’m not that extreme but hopefully you see my point. if you are a girl, i think you’ll understand all of these words just fine. you know those mornings you get out of the shower and you’re drying your hair in your underwearsss and you realize you finally don’t care that you have that scar on your leg? or that your skin is so pale that sometimes in bad light you can see your veins? … or when your skin keeps breaking out and you’re like “today, i simply do not give a f***!” those are the liberated moments that i try to hold on to. and i’m hoping by seeing my crazy mug on a magazine cover… some girl who’s having a not particularly liberated day will think to herself that the MAY cover looks just a little different than the usual cosmo cover and hopefully they can even be inspired. no, i don’t think i’m some kind of saving grace that’s going to change the magazine world and the lies that we believe in the headlines every day. but i do know that i NEVER ever thought of myself as conventionally beautiful nor sexy. and only just recently did i ever even begin to accept how my looks differ from other people’s whom i admire. i’m hoping that the more a magazine will take a chance on a girl like me, the more a girl will have a frickin chance in hell to be UNIQUE, powerful, strong in her weaknesses, confident in her flaws. because that’s who i’m trying to become.

sexy is whatever you want it to be. don’t let cosmo tell you. don’t let vogue tell you. even your boyfriend or your best friends. the point is, it’s up to you. i’m gonna make up my own version as i go.

and for the record, i really was hoping one of the headlines would be “69 ways to 69″ but i guess it was a no go. honestly, i don’t think they could come up with that many. thank you guys once again for being a part of our family. love every one of ya.

hayley

– once again, i didn’t proofread ;////