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today, let’s dive into the discussion of sexuality! yeah yeah, i wanna talk about the cosmo cover. it’s a little more than a big deal to me. and you know what? i’m really excited about it. to the general public, cosmo magazine is either a) a woman’s obsession or b) a woman’s demise — honestly, either of the two options equal out to be the same damn thing! the media clearly has our attention. it’s easy to let all the images of all these godlike looking women whisper to us how we think we’re supposed to look. it’s like “here look at my BOOBS! don’t you wish you had these?” “more guys will like you if you do it THIS WAY!” “get this figure” blah blah blah spend all your time, energy, and money on becoming the world’s idea of ”sexy”… and you know what? it’s never gonna change. as much as i tell myself i don’t care and i wear whatever i want… there will always be those moments when i’m at the check out line at target and i see some gorgeous person on the cover of any ol rag… and i’m like “ugh, is that how it’s gotta be!?” only to realize that… next month, that girl on the cover is gonna be me.
WHAT A HYPOCRITE RIGHT?!?!
noooo. here’s the thing. my #1 goal when the band began was to make myself invisible. not only did i not want to be the focal point, i wanted to be UNSEEN! and honestly, it never made a difference. i’ve turned down a lot of magazine covers. i specifically remember turning down Blender mag when i turned 19. and you know what? no one ever knew. it never made people focus on me any less. and it never mattered. so this time i’m taking a different approach. all 3 of us in Paramore have our own roles. and finally i will accept mine. i’m going to be okay with being a “powerful female”. and if that’s what it is… i’m going to use that role to make a difference.
here’s the plan. here’s my course of action. i WILL be myself. i WILL grow up. and i most definitely WILL find the time in my own life to be SEXY if i feel like it. who wrote the rules? who said that a girl that lives in this same tshirt and jeans nearly every day won’t wanna wear pumps and a short skirt tomorrow? the heart that’s underneath the clothes is still the same. because to me, it’s not about using sex as a weapon. it’s about how i feel. somedays i straight up feel like wearing sweats. other days, more confident days.. i’m like… DUDE WHO NEEDS CLOTHES!? ok well, i’m not that extreme but hopefully you see my point. if you are a girl, i think you’ll understand all of these words just fine. you know those mornings you get out of the shower and you’re drying your hair in your underwearsss and you realize you finally don’t care that you have that scar on your leg? or that your skin is so pale that sometimes in bad light you can see your veins? … or when your skin keeps breaking out and you’re like “today, i simply do not give a f***!” those are the liberated moments that i try to hold on to. and i’m hoping by seeing my crazy mug on a magazine cover… some girl who’s having a not particularly liberated day will think to herself that the MAY cover looks just a little different than the usual cosmo cover and hopefully they can even be inspired. no, i don’t think i’m some kind of saving grace that’s going to change the magazine world and the lies that we believe in the headlines every day. but i do know that i NEVER ever thought of myself as conventionally beautiful nor sexy. and only just recently did i ever even begin to accept how my looks differ from other people’s whom i admire. i’m hoping that the more a magazine will take a chance on a girl like me, the more a girl will have a frickin chance in hell to be UNIQUE, powerful, strong in her weaknesses, confident in her flaws. because that’s who i’m trying to become.
sexy is whatever you want it to be. don’t let cosmo tell you. don’t let vogue tell you. even your boyfriend or your best friends. the point is, it’s up to you. i’m gonna make up my own version as i go.
and for the record, i really was hoping one of the headlines would be “69 ways to 69” but i guess it was a no go. honestly, i don’t think they could come up with that many. thank you guys once again for being a part of our family. love every one of ya.
— once again, i didn’t proofread ;////
In this post Hayley is trying to explain to us that they are rethinking about the idea of releasing an EP for a couple reasons that she explained in her post. They’re just going to release 3 new songs which they’re currently recording at Rob Cavallo’s studio in California.
The babe with the power.
we’re back inside the studio. literally, inside of it. and so far, it couldn’t be any better! day #2 and we’re nearly finished tracking the whole 1st song musically… tonight it’ll be my turn to crank out some SICK VOXXXXX. i’m just a little excited. like clockwork, my allergies are ridiculous right now and my vocal cords are being total jerks. it’s alright though cause i fed them some watermelon juice and kale earlier. i could tell that made ’em smile. ew, look at me talking about my insides like they’re people. it’s like when guys name their weiners. just no.
well, i just figured i’d give you guys an update on where we’re at with the songs, life in general, and also tell you how amazing the movie Paul is. (it’s amazing). (kristen wiig is so funny). that’s really all i have to say about Paul. as far as music goes, we’re hoping to record 3 songs while we’re out here in California. the original plan was to record just 2 but seeing as though we’re moving pretty quickly, we may get luckier than that. i guess we’ll let you know when we figure it out! being out here is totally inspiring though. i remember when we showed up for the first time 2 years ago. within the first hour of actually pulling up to Rob’s we were already working on “Careful”. this place just has an electricity for us. and honestly, all it is is a studio inside of a garage. i mean, it’s a nice garage but… hey.
i guess the only thing we can say that won’t have you completely stoked out of your skull is that we are rethinking the idea of releasing these songs in EP form. for a few reasons which, of course, will be explained. we’ve obviously been through a hell of a lot in the past however many months it’s been… so it probably won’t come as any surprise to you when i say that i’ve written a lot of lyrics having to do with the whole situation. one you’ve already heard, (“in the mourning”) and quite a few others, some of which would never be paramore songs but were more just my way of venting and getting over everything. the 2nd song we’re recording and the 3rd one that we’re hoping to get done also have the same subject matter. and really, we just don’t want to put out a full product that sounds like a concept record about yet another difficult period in our bands life. it really is time to move on. with that being said, we want to give you all some new music. honestly, we want to give ourselves some new music too. geeeezzzz. so we’re working out how exactly to release everything… but so far it just seems like we spoke a little too soon about the whole EP thing. sorry :/ we were kind of excited. you will still be getting new songs though! and we think you guys are gonna really like them.
hopefully the whole thing makes sense. if not, i guess i could try to explain it in non-hayley-rambling-forever form, which would probably go like this: shit happens. if we put out another full product about our band woes then this will just keep going on forever and ever. after we put out the few songs that we’re recording, we never want to talk about it again. not in interviews, not in songs, nothing.
phew. that felt good!
now that we’re past the serious business can i just say that i’m SO freaking proud of the dudes. taylor has clearly had a lot on his plate getting ready for this little series of songs we’re recording. killing the drums, writing great guitar parts; etc. jeremy has this insane bass tone that he and riley (bass tech to the stars, also of Conditions fame) have been working on. working together has been good, you know? i feel inspired and motivated by all the changes we’ve gone through. and the friendships between the 3 of us feel like they’ve been dusted off, new again. i’m proud of what i’ve written lyrically – even though it’s not something i want to harp on forever. i feel like it’s the stepping stone, though, to wherever it is that we’re going next. that in itself is so exciting it literally hurts. the year ahead of us couldn’t possibly be anything less than incredible.
and lastly, i think i just need to brace myself. from here and now until whatever really happens next for us… i can feel that we’re on the brink of so much growth. for myself, personally, i just know i’m gonna look back a year from now and realize all that i’ve learned. but that’s enough about me, do you feel it too?
think it’s time to eat. i can hear the guys getting excited about something, so it’s either food, girls, or someone farted.
L O L
love you guys so much,
ps, didn’t proofread this so i’m sorry if there’s a ton of mistakes. (besides the usual non-capitalization thing)
hey yall… just woke up and i’ve watched every rerun of every american reality tv show with spanish subtitles that bogota has to offer. (celebrity apprentice is on now. Cyndi Lauper is fierce). it’d probably be nice to get outta the hotel but we’re kinda surrounded. not sure that we’d actually get to see anything. it’s bittersweet, you know? i’d rather have fans everywhere be stoked that we came to their city to see them than not care at all. i mean, sure, i wanna go do touristy things in every city but the best experiences are the shows.. and we wouldn’t have a show without people to play for. so i’ll take that compromise!
we only have 3 more shows left before we head back home. WHAT? this tour has gone by extremely fast. it’s been amazing to come back to some of these places for the second time and extremely overwhelming to get the responses we’ve gotten. especially in all the cities we’ve never played before. we met one guy the other night in Peru, named Roger, who joined our fan club in Feb. 2007. that’s pretty much when we started the fan club!! he waited all that time just to meet us and see us play a show… i can’t even tell you how incredible that feels… and when he walked up to us at Meet & Greet with these big tears in his eyes, I almost lost it. he asked to come up and sing with us and OF COURSE we said yes.
check that shiz out here:
i almost cried again just watching this. hahah i’m such a baby. he broke my heart in the best way. i’ve just never seen anyone get so completely lost in our music the way he did on stage. it was humbling and real. we all felt really grateful to meet him. so if you’re reading this Roger, thank you!
in other completely unrelated news, i’ve been trying to do my Pure Barre dvd on tour. not as consistently as i’d like but… well, enough to know i’m doing it. my ass is literally burning en fuego right now. i couldn’t really recommend this work out to dudes – cause it could be super awkward if you’re not into ballet or pushing your pelvis forward all the time – but i will say that if you’re looking for a good workout that is low impact but with quick results, get on this stuff! and then on the opposite end of that spectrum… i would like teleport myself to LA and get raw chocolate pie from Native Foods. it shouldn’t even be possible how good it is. somehow it is.
and back on Paramore planet we have some rad stuff planned for the rest of the year. i actually just amazed myself with the whole Paramore planet thing. and not in a good way. who am i? anyways, as everything unfolds and becomes more official, we will let you guys know. hope you’ll be as stoked as we are.
enjoy your day!! talk later
what a weekend THAT was. damn, it never fails to amaze me when i look up and all around me and realize that we are standing on a red carpet. isn’t that sort of every little girl’s dream at least at some point in their life? even if just for a second, you wanna know what it would be like… i mean, i always did. it’s only made even more ridiculous and amazing by the fact that i get to do this stuff with my friends. the guys and i had a blast. let’s not even try and talk about presenting “best rock album” cause i’m pretty sure i nearly pissed my pink tou tou. this years grammy’s were, without a doubt, the best we’ve ever been a part of. and i’ll follow that up by saying, whatever is going on with the 3 of us – however this is working out – it’s something new. it’s unexplainable. and new! i don’t know how else to say it without sounding like i’m forcing it and being a downright d-bag. something just clicked and whatever that was, i’m so freaking incredible grateful for it.
we really made the best of our entire weekend. did a brand new photoshoot – i mean how much longer could you guys crop and re-edit old photos? must have been a little more than awkward too, right? well, lindsey byrnes knocked it out of the park. we had a blast getting all dressed up (i might have had too much fun… but you’re used to it by now) and sooner than later, some of those pics will be up on the interwebz for us all to gawk at. we hung out a lot with our label folk. both Fueled By Ramen AND Atlantic folk, if any of the haters are wondering! we even went to the label’s after party and held down a whole corner in which we danced the night away and onlookers were all “wtf” til they came over and got down with us. the best part is that we actually planned out a lot of our 2011. i know everyone has been hoping for an EP and while we don’t want to confirm anything 100% due to the fact that well, we just don’t wanna confirm it… i can say that we do have enough songs *in the works* for one and we will be recording some of them after we get back from Brasil :) thumbs up? yes? no? mmm yes.
just seems like someone opened up all the windows and let all the air back in. wish you all could have been right there with us over the weekend. hanging out with us and feeling our insanely good vibes, haha! we’re ready to give back to you guys for all the love we’ve felt from you over the past couple of months. heck, for the past 7 years! there’s something new happening here and it’s definitely good.
tomorrow is our “1st day back” — band practice will rule. i just know it. i’m feeling really good about it the closer it gets.
it may have been a tough month or so, as we’ve beaten into the ground a thousand gazillion times, but finally – and hopefully as of tomorrow – i am ready to start something new. man, i’m sick of being a tired grump. it’s easy to get that way in january, i suppose. but honestly, if not for most of you giving us even the slightest bit of encouragement, i probably would’ve fallen into a legit case of depression. so thank you. another mountain to climb and we’re getting there, right?
also, i know i didn’t answer as many questions as i sort of said i would in the last post. i go back every now and then and read your responses. honestly, they are all amazing. can you believe it’s been like 5 or 6 years of this community? we’re actually growing up together. i can’t imagine having had that conversation in the beginning of this. i’m so honored. can’t promise but i can say that i will try to go back and reply a little more.
this post really has no point other than to say that at the end of it i’m actually ready to move forward.
love you all so much,
Hayley updated Paramore’s LiveJournal about faith and religion yesterday. Even if you’re not religious at all, take some time to read it and see what Hayley had in her thoughts.
can’t believe i’m gonna post about faith.
but it’s all that’s been on my mind lately. and i think, just with my blog and with a few people here, it’s come up enough times to dedicate a little more time to. i’ll start by saying this… i never thought it could get any harder to live in the south, be a Christian, and do what we do. but lately, it has. and i’ll finish starting by saying another thing… this post is about as personal as i could possibly get with all of you. to me, this subject matter is like ripping off a bandaid… or super gluing your lips together and then tearing them apart. (jeremy had a friend do that once, how bloody does that sound?)
disclaimer: i realize that only a few of you here share the same faith as me, so you’ll have to read this all like it’s my totally private diary. like i’m writing it just for my own eyes. and also, i am not using this entry as a way to make you “see the light” and start believing whatever I do. in fact, this is almost the opposite.
so here are the basics: Christians are supposed to love everyone. we are supposed to be a clear representation of God’s heart for humankind. without quoting scripture and getting myself into a storm, it’s easy to see when reading the Bible – particularly the New Testament – that God’s desire for his creation is love. that’s a broad statement but hopefully you follow. sure bad things happen, life happens… but in the end, there’s grace. there’s love. and at least to me, that’s God.
so if Jesus walked the earth, showing grace to everyone, hanging out with “sinners” and even being condemned for it, all in the name of love…what’s so hard to understand that as Christians, we should strive to do the same? i mean, duh, as a human being living amongst other human beings, i’m not expecting perfection.. but that’s just the point. Jesus didn’t expect perfection from us so why do we expect it from one another? why is it that Christians are known for being the exact opposite of how it was written that Jesus lived his life? why are we known as a bunch of hypocrites? i’m getting tired of the representation we’ve got out there. seems like the only Christians that speak up are the crazies. and i guess that’s why i’m so not into talking about all of this all the time. i don’t wanna be one more name you can add to that list.
the million dollar question that i’m wrestling with lately is this: what’s the difference between someone who says they’re a Christian but shows no love and someone who has nothing to do with God but shows love? who would you rather be around? … that’s what i thought!
ugh, so i know i’m rambling and rambling. unfortunately i don’t think i have a total point for all of this. i’m not expecting anyone to have an epiphany about what i’ve typed up. just so angry lately at people who make believing in God look like hate. figured that you guys would understand because i bet you all might have your own stories of condemnation and harsh judgement. i call those stories “playing god moments” – only call them that to myself of course to avoid seeming ridiculously narcissistic! but now you know, so if you have a “playing god moment”, please share it if you can.
and you know, maybe my point is that whether or not it goes down in history, i just want to be able to be known not for being “a Christian” but for being someone that tried to be real with people. sure, i’m not happy all the time. that’s not what having faith is about anyways. i just want to know that i loved people right. or as well as i could. i really believe with everything in me God would actually be pleased with just that. and before i end this, i just want to say that i hope none of this comes off as self righteous. that would bum me out so hard cause that’s exactly what i’m trying to speak out against.
okay, so i’m going to quote one verse –
1 Corinthians 13:13 “Three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
thanks for reading this one. i’m sure it was confusing – and i didn’t even proofread :/