Hayley updated Paramore’s LiveJournal about faith and religion yesterday. Even if you’re not religious at all, take some time to read it and see what Hayley had in her thoughts.
can’t believe i’m gonna post about faith.
but it’s all that’s been on my mind lately. and i think, just with my blog and with a few people here, it’s come up enough times to dedicate a little more time to. i’ll start by saying this… i never thought it could get any harder to live in the south, be a Christian, and do what we do. but lately, it has. and i’ll finish starting by saying another thing… this post is about as personal as i could possibly get with all of you. to me, this subject matter is like ripping off a bandaid… or super gluing your lips together and then tearing them apart. (jeremy had a friend do that once, how bloody does that sound?)
disclaimer: i realize that only a few of you here share the same faith as me, so you’ll have to read this all like it’s my totally private diary. like i’m writing it just for my own eyes. and also, i am not using this entry as a way to make you “see the light” and start believing whatever I do. in fact, this is almost the opposite.
so here are the basics: Christians are supposed to love everyone. we are supposed to be a clear representation of God’s heart for humankind. without quoting scripture and getting myself into a storm, it’s easy to see when reading the Bible – particularly the New Testament – that God’s desire for his creation is love. that’s a broad statement but hopefully you follow. sure bad things happen, life happens… but in the end, there’s grace. there’s love. and at least to me, that’s God.
so if Jesus walked the earth, showing grace to everyone, hanging out with “sinners” and even being condemned for it, all in the name of love…what’s so hard to understand that as Christians, we should strive to do the same? i mean, duh, as a human being living amongst other human beings, i’m not expecting perfection.. but that’s just the point. Jesus didn’t expect perfection from us so why do we expect it from one another? why is it that Christians are known for being the exact opposite of how it was written that Jesus lived his life? why are we known as a bunch of hypocrites? i’m getting tired of the representation we’ve got out there. seems like the only Christians that speak up are the crazies. and i guess that’s why i’m so not into talking about all of this all the time. i don’t wanna be one more name you can add to that list.
the million dollar question that i’m wrestling with lately is this: what’s the difference between someone who says they’re a Christian but shows no love and someone who has nothing to do with God but shows love? who would you rather be around? … that’s what i thought!
ugh, so i know i’m rambling and rambling. unfortunately i don’t think i have a total point for all of this. i’m not expecting anyone to have an epiphany about what i’ve typed up. just so angry lately at people who make believing in God look like hate. figured that you guys would understand because i bet you all might have your own stories of condemnation and harsh judgement. i call those stories “playing god moments” – only call them that to myself of course to avoid seeming ridiculously narcissistic! but now you know, so if you have a “playing god moment”, please share it if you can.
and you know, maybe my point is that whether or not it goes down in history, i just want to be able to be known not for being “a Christian” but for being someone that tried to be real with people. sure, i’m not happy all the time. that’s not what having faith is about anyways. i just want to know that i loved people right. or as well as i could. i really believe with everything in me God would actually be pleased with just that. and before i end this, i just want to say that i hope none of this comes off as self righteous. that would bum me out so hard cause that’s exactly what i’m trying to speak out against.
okay, so i’m going to quote one verse –
1 Corinthians 13:13 “Three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
thanks for reading this one. i’m sure it was confusing – and i didn’t even proofread :/